Sunday 22 September 2013

New Season Reflections

I can hardly believe that this weekend we welcomed Fall; summer this year was just much too quick.  I love Fall, it has always been my favourite season and my favourite time to reflect and think about how the year has gone so far and where I am in my life. As such I've spent the last few evenings trying to sort through the year and see where I'm at.

What I've come to realize is that over the course of the past two years I've started to fall back into some old habits; habits I promised myself were not part of my new path.  After my marriage ended I committed to myself that I would be a priority in my own life, that I would not forget to be authentic to who I'm really meant to be.  This whole blog was a chance to express that journey and to help to own the opportunity to build the path that was most authentic for me.  I got a tattoo just before my 40th birthday that simply reads "transcend".  The tattoo is my personal reminder to rise above and to be better.

So over the past few evenings I've been disappointed with the realization that I've started again to put everyone in my life above myself.  That the things that I need for my own journey have begun to be pushed aside.  That loving all the people in my life has once again risen so far above loving myself.  I have a friend who I have known for years; a wonderful, strong executive for whom I worked years ago.  She once gave me the best piece of advice that I have ever received; that to love yourself and look after yourself is one of the best gifts you can give to the people who love you.  They in turn get to have the you that is most who you are, and your happiness will reflect in them.

I think that it's time to get back to some basics, there are people in my life who are inherent to my journey, people for whom my love has no bounds,  I have to focus on giving them the me that is most in line with who I need to be and not so much who they all need me to be because I believe that is what is best for all of us.  I wish the journey was clearer, Fall  weather is perfect to enjoy some long walks and start to give real thought to the changes that will need to be made in order to keep moving forward.  Lots of good has happened in the past two years, but there are still changes to be made, and so much still to figure out.  As always though, I'm grateful that you are all on the path with me!