Oh No!! The "Teenage Years" Are Here!!

I think that I figured something out today...the "teenage years" have arrived at my house.  For the first time ever my teenager "ignored me".  Completely just disregarded what I was saying even though I was screaming it at the top of my voice in the same room as him.  And then he tried to justify why he was ignoring me.  So, after I finally clarified which of the two of us was the boss in this particular relationship (that would me be) he stormed away.  And then I started to think!  Oh no, I'm going to have to do this twice...just as I'm finally over the rough time of having a teenager, my other two boys will be entering the dreaded teenage years.  And it didn't end there, I realized that as soon as I was finally through the teenage years with the two younger ones, the older one might be starting a family and then I would be "GASP" a grandmother.  That's when I realized what I've suspected for years...this is never going to be over.  I'm going to be raising children, loving children, worrying endlessly FOREVER!! 

I love these little boys, and I love almost every phase that they go through.  I'm even able to see the humour (now) in last Thursday nights mishap where the three year old decided to dump three bottles of paint all over the coffee table and the carpet.  It was funny...ha ha...see I'm enjoying the whole experience for sure.  My poor sister however, who was at my place during the paint debacle, might still not be over the drama that ensued.  As I scraped the paint into a bowl (yes, there was that much paint), the three year old started screaming and crying that I was ruining his painting. 

So, I'm trying to enjoy it all; while I realize that it isn't going to get funamentally easier for some time to come.  I told my six year old that when they were all grown that I wanted to move to Paris and he said "cool, I can't wait to move to Paris with you".  Loving them, working hard to try to just try to accept the things that happen in the manner in which they happen.  There are going to be things that I can control, and things that will always be out of my control and the sooner that I make peace with that, the sooner my life will feel peaceful. 

What an adventure!  The path is completely crazy and bumpy but there are a multitude of rewards at the end.  The boys are my biggest reward, at the end of all the hard work they'll always be there waiting.

Loving the road, working hard to accept it as it comes at me. 

Running...and Finally Catching Up

Holy Smokes...talk about running a million miles an hour these days.  My mind is constantly flying and I'm surprised that I manage to sleep at all these days.  I recently had a terrible night, I tossed and turned for hours and finally decided at 4am that the best thing that I could do for myself was to get out of bed and make a list of all the things that were floating around in my head that were causing all this sleeplessness.  The list was long, I realised that over the past two years anything that was difficult has been getting relegated to the "take care of it when I have time" pile and things were quickly starting to add up.  So I've been addressing all those items that have been being added to my list, slowly ticking things off and the feeling is so wonderful.  I had forgotten what it was like to go a day without something in the back of your mind sounding alarm bells; it's such a wonderful thing to be checking things off my list.

The last month involved a lot of thought about my career and what I wanted to be doing.  Although it wasn't an easy decision to make I've decided that the best thing that I can do for myself is to take a step back.  For years I was an Executive Assistant and to be honest, I love the role.  I love helping others and getting to know people and this role offers me an opportunity to operate within my comfort zone.  I realised that for now, the greatest thing that I can give to myself is a healthy work-life balance, there will be time later for growing my career and trying new things.  For now the priority should be my life and the lives of my little boys.  We need time, lots of time, and I'm okay with that.  So, starting Tuesday I'm back to a job that I love, helping people who I already know and respect and I'm glad that my life offers me opportunities from time  to time for a "do over".

I'm grateful that this summer I've had lots of time to spend on the beach with my babies, and happy to spend some time just starting to get to know me a little better.  By understanding myself better, I'll understand those around me better and slowly I'll keep travelling the path.  I'm already having fun, I fully anticipate that it will continue to get better and better.  Thanks for following everyone!