It’s a new year and I've been negligent in keeping my blog up to date. I believe that this is because I've been so busy that I’m slowly losing my voice in the craziness that is a life of work, little boys and dating. I feel like I’m living my life on a never ending treadmill, and sadly not the kind of treadmill that I should be spending more time on.
Christmas this year was a blur, but the one nice thing about Christmas is that the boys and I are building new traditions and every year it feels more and more like we’re becoming whole again in this new family that we have built for ourselves. I had the hardest time getting into the swing of things this season and didn't even start my Christmas shopping until December 22nd. I struggled this year with the whole concept of gift buying for people who already have everything. I think for this year the boys and I will have to give more thought what we have to give instead of what we plan to get.
My big issue these days is learning to stay in the moment. My mind flies from the past to the future and I can’t seem to just stop and think about the here and now. And as we all know, time flies past us and if we don’t stop to enjoy today we’re doing ourselves a huge disservice. So, that’s the goal – it’s not a new year’s resolution. It’s something that I need to learn that will help me enormously with where I am in my life. To learn to just be present and not take any situation and ask where I think it will lead and where it has gone wrong in the past.
In a recent message from the Universe (you can sign up for your own messages at www.tut.com), the universe told me that I’m here to make my dreams come true. So it’s time to slowly determine what those dreams are and then tackle them one day at a time, in the here and now and focus on moving my life day by day in the direction it’s intended to go.
And about that other treadmill, I've gained a whole bunch of weight in the mad flurry of living the treadmill life that I've been living. And I’m missing the time that I took initially for me and for working out and eating right. As I look at the road ahead, part of living truthfully in the moment has to include the time to take care of me. I’m so far off path right now (which is so easy to do when you’re a mom, an assistant, a daughter and a girlfriend) and I need to find my way back. Funny enough I was closer to being my most authentic self after my marriage imploded and I had the intense desire to sort through the feelings. I need to back track a little and get back to a place where I'm more of a priority in my world; day by day, baby steps. I’m on my way.