A couple of weeks ago as I was driving into the office I noticed that the cars ahead of me were all doing a small diversion ahead of me. As I got closer I realized that they were all diverting to the right to avoid a little squirrel on the road. The squirrel hadn't been hit, but it was so scared that it couldn't get itself out of the way of on-coming traffic. She was just sitting there, little paws in the air too scared to get herself out of danger.
And that's when it dawned on me; I'm that squirrel. I've been living my whole existence flying from one urgent thing to another and there's so much coming at me all the time that I can't even find a way to get myself away from everything that is coming head on. Things definitely needed to change.
That was the day that I decided that the house had to go. I was so tired of worrying about what was next to go and what would be the next big expense. As lovely as it is to live in an older home with character - that character costs money to keep up. So the first step in sorting out what the future will look like, will be in figuring out where on earth the boys and I will live. I don't have a clue what that looks like. It's completely unlike me to fly without a plan, but I need to learn to take chances and to trust that it's all going to be okay.
The house is still on the market a few weeks into it being listed and surprisingly I'm okay. I've put the sale of the house in the hands of the universe, if it is meant to sell, it will. And if not, then I need to figure out the next step.
These days, there appears to be squirrels everywhere I look (yes, I know that it's Fall and they're busy preparing for winter), when I see them I think of that squirrel who was too afraid to move to save herself; and I'm more determined than ever to make the moves that will propel my life forward - fearlessly, purposefully and joyously. I will no longer be that squirrel.