I think that I figured something out today...the "teenage years" have arrived at my house. For the first time ever my teenager "ignored me". Completely just disregarded what I was saying even though I was screaming it at the top of my voice in the same room as him. And then he tried to justify why he was ignoring me. So, after I finally clarified which of the two of us was the boss in this particular relationship (that would me be) he stormed away. And then I started to think! Oh no, I'm going to have to do this twice...just as I'm finally over the rough time of having a teenager, my other two boys will be entering the dreaded teenage years. And it didn't end there, I realized that as soon as I was finally through the teenage years with the two younger ones, the older one might be starting a family and then I would be "GASP" a grandmother. That's when I realized what I've suspected for years...this is never going to be over. I'm going to be raising children, loving children, worrying endlessly FOREVER!!
I love these little boys, and I love almost every phase that they go through. I'm even able to see the humour (now) in last Thursday nights mishap where the three year old decided to dump three bottles of paint all over the coffee table and the carpet. It was funny...ha ha...see I'm enjoying the whole experience for sure. My poor sister however, who was at my place during the paint debacle, might still not be over the drama that ensued. As I scraped the paint into a bowl (yes, there was that much paint), the three year old started screaming and crying that I was ruining his painting.
So, I'm trying to enjoy it all; while I realize that it isn't going to get funamentally easier for some time to come. I told my six year old that when they were all grown that I wanted to move to Paris and he said "cool, I can't wait to move to Paris with you". Loving them, working hard to try to just try to accept the things that happen in the manner in which they happen. There are going to be things that I can control, and things that will always be out of my control and the sooner that I make peace with that, the sooner my life will feel peaceful.
What an adventure! The path is completely crazy and bumpy but there are a multitude of rewards at the end. The boys are my biggest reward, at the end of all the hard work they'll always be there waiting.
Loving the road, working hard to accept it as it comes at me.