I realized recently that I spend an inordinate amount of time looking backwards. I daydream about the past, the people in it, the events that transpired (the good and the bad) and I think that perhaps only now am I realizing that while sometimes it’s nice to reminisce about the past, the future lies in the future and no amount of looking back is going to propel me forward.
My other major downfall over the last little while has been looking to others for validation when the only person whose validation really matters is my own. While the boys are the centre of my universe, they won’t think very much of the woman that I am unless I think the world of myself.
So here it is, two months into the year that I waited for and anticipated would be the year in which it all finally changed and I’ve spent so much time looking back and seeking the validation of others when I should only have been looking at myself and looking straight ahead into the future.
One of my favourite quotes by Audrey Hepburn is “Nothing is missing when you’re not looking back. Move forward, always forward”. So there it is, time to move forward. No more looking back, no more wondering what if. Time to remember that whatever is meant for me has already been determined in my life and the only way to honour the beautiful life that I have been given is to get myself on the path that I was mean to be on and to live life to the fullest of my ability; time to stop waiting for others to fix things and others to fix me.
I think that I can see that path up ahead, instead of walking there with uncertainty while looking back and seeking validation, its time to start running towards it.